My Father's Eulogy

This past weekend was a sad day for Meharban.  He found himself having to deliver the eulogy at his father's funeral.

My Father's Eulogy

The awakening

We serve his purpose in all our actions! We serve his purpose in all our actions!  Those words still echo in my head from so many years ago.  It was a hot day in June of 1981 and I had just returned from my first year at college.  We were living in a small apartment on the southwest side of Houston.  As always, my father and I had an argument.  So he caught me outside.  He said, “we serve his purpose in all our actions!”  I said, “that makes no sense.”  Not out of some deep thought or profound realization, but only because I could not agree with him.  In those days disagreement for the sake of disagreement was a full-time profession.  

So he said: “Answer this question.  Would you follow a dishonest man?”  “How little do you think of me?” I responded with all the indignation I could muster.  He repeated, “answer the question”, I said “No”.  He then said, “why not?”.  I responded, ”Because I want to be better than that!” He then said, “Then the dishonest person served his purpose!”  I said “WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?  God allows the wicked to teach us!”  

He would have no more of it!  He simply stated, “you cannot escape serving his purpose.  You can be a good example for others to follow or a bad example for others to reject.  But you will serve God’s purpose!”  I have never shared this conversation until today.  But it has echoed in my head every day.  It started the awakening that I hope will continue until the day I die.

We live in a world today divided into three groups.  1^st are the great many who have chosen to appoint themselves as God's Police force.  They want to go around enforcing God's laws by telling others what to do and get compliance by coercion or force if necessary.  2^nd is a greater number than the 1^st who suffer through life indifferent to God's laws hoping to live a happy life.  3^rd are the small few, who have chosen to be God's servant.  My father, spent much of his life, living it, believing he was serving the best way he could. 

When I got the call early morning on Friday from my brother Atique about Abbu’s condition, I was taken back to that day in the summer of 1981.  I spent much of my time since Friday and while traveling here to Chicago thinking about only one question.

What would I not be without my father? (Repeat) 

I did not want to answer this question by myself only.  I consulted with each of my siblings to develop the full picture.  So now, Let me tell you how we would answer this question:

• I would not be so matter of fact and practical
• I would not be a problem solver
• I would not be in the land of opportunity
• I would not be ambitious, nor determined
• I would not know how to love my family
• I would not know how to be a father or know what a father should be
• I would not be kind, I would not be compassionate
• I would not try to be an example for others to follow
• I would not be persistent
• I would not know how to persevere
• AND I would not seek knowledge

These are all the thing we would not be.  But Abbu was not just a father, he was also a husband.  And if any of you know my mother, she would not want you to walk away not knowing her thoughts.  So she wanted me to tell you her answer to the question:

What would I not know without my Husband? (Repeat)

• I would not know generosity
• I would not know frugality
• I would not know how to be kind
• I would not know the strength
• And most of all, I would not know how to love.  He loved me when he made my hair.  He loved me when he put nail polish on my feet.  He loved me when he took care of me when I was sick.  Even in my old age, he would rub my aging water-filled feet.  He made me laugh, he made me angry, but never sad nor lonely.  He never went to sleep not talking to me, he never ignored me, he never imposed his will on me.  He was my friend, he was my love.

There is no man out there who is perfect, and neither was he.  But he was perfect for me.

And this is what we (me, my sister, my brothers, and my mom) want you to know about Azizur Rehman Pappa, a husband, a father, a friend and the beloved Abbu to 10 grandchildren and 7 great-grandchildren and counting.

And if you want to honor my father, ask yourself the question? Will you live your life as God's Policeman, indifferent to God, or will you choose to serve him.  Because in the end, you will serve his purpose!